Human Stain

By Prof. A. Subbarao

“We are going on a visit to Kerala and see some popular places. In the past, you have made several visits to Kerala. We would be happy if you can join us on this tour” asked Krishna.
Rao did not answer and he appeared to be chewing the proposal in his mind.
“I assume your silence as an approval and I will go ahead with the train and hotel reservations for all of us” said Ravi.
“I am sorry. I would not be able to accompany you on your trip to Kerala” Rao said mildly.
“Why not”? Jagan joined in the conversation.
“After my last visit I decided that I will never visit Kerala again” Rao replied firmly.
“Why? What happened in your last visit?”
Rao did not reply.
“If you do not explain your totally irrational decision, I will include your name in our reservation list” Ravi threatened.
Again, Rao maintained silence. Krishna, Jagan and Ravi were waiting for Rao’s reply and explanation. After a couple of minutes of silence Rao started explaining the reason for such a drastic decision.
“If I had not gone for lunch to that restaurant or bargained for a banana in the morning, things would have been different” rued Rao.
“Don’t talk in riddles, come clean” said Ravi.
“One can observe that in Kerala most of the small shops in addition to selling various items, they also serve tea. After having my morning coffee at my hotel I was on my morning walk. I saw beautiful ripe bananas were hung in a small tea shop. I wanted to buy just one banana. I am not good in the local language Malayalam and the tea shop owner knew nothing but Malayalam. I was trying my best to convey to him that I need just one banana and was enquiring about its price. After two minutes, we both gave up due to lack of communication and I was about to move along. “Wait a minute” said a lady who was standing nearby and waiting for a bus. I was taken by surprise. I knew a bit of Tamil language and she also knew a bit of the same. She understood my requirement. She bargained with the tea shop owner and finally she asked me to pay five rupees, which I did. The shop person handed over to me two bananas. I thanked her and hesitatingly offered her one. She was also hesitant to accept it, but took it eventually. Before any conversation ensued between us, a bus stopped near her and she got into it. I came back to my room and after breakfast, I visited some places around town in a taxi which I hired. It was almost past one in the afternoon. I was famished. In Kerala hotels, boiled rice usage is very common. Also, the cooking medium is coconut oil. I do not like either of them. I expressed my limitation to the taxi driver and he took me to a hotel where I can get what I wanted. When I reached the restaurant, we found that it was oozing with people waiting to be seated. When I announced I am alone, the waiter said” you have to wait for another half hour”. However, he came back after one minute and asked me” Do you mind sharing a table with another person?.I told him that I do not have any problem. He took me to a table for two and I was shown one chair. The other chair was unoccupied. Half a minute later, a lady came and sat in the chair opposite to me. She was the same person who helped me in the morning. Hello” I said. She responded with a “Hello” in the same vein.
“What would be her age? Was she beautiful like some of the movie stars? ”Krishna asked. Rao ignored Krishna’s questions and continued his narration.
“I was intrigued by the coincidence. She helped me to buy the bananas I wanted and we entered into a conversation. Broken English, and hotch potch Tamil were the medium of our communication. I told her about my travel hobby, and that I visited Kerala six times already. After a bit of hesitation, she mentioned that she is working as a teacher in a school and that her place of residence was close by. After finishing our lunch, I looked back and found the dining hall practically empty. My watch was showing three o’clock. It was amazing how time flew. While paying my bill “I have a taxi with me, and I am going to head to the waterfalls. The water falls are only thirty five kilo meters away. Do you have any objection to accompany me? ”I asked her. Rao stopped for a second to take a breath.
“How dare you ask her to accompany you? You are a total stranger to her!” Krishna said unapprovingly.
“I agree. When I look back now I think it was a rather unusual suggestion. But then, something in me forced me to ask. She hesitated, and looked at me piercingly for signs of danger and finding probably none said” O.K”. We drove to the water falls and by the time we reached the spot it was four o’clock. The water falls are located in a dense forest and even though the Sun was shining the thick clouds filtered the sun light to a certain extent. She was very excited looking at the falls like a ten year old girl and said” Even though I lived in these parts forever, I have not seen these falls earlier. Thank you”. The water falls were in three or four steps. We were walking on the rocks adjacent to the falls from the top to bottom. She was sitting on a rock and soaking her legs and moving them in the gushing water like a dancer in practice. I looked at her carefully for the first time. She was graceful and very dignified, and the water falls have excited her immensely and changed her demeanor. I walked and moved to the next lower stage of the water fall. She too got up hurriedly and headed towards the lower stage where I was standing. The steep slope and her reckless hurry made her slip and she was coming down uncontrollably. I blocked her fall by acting as a shield and held her. Had I not done that she would have plunged into the gorge and perished. The westwards sunrays which came out of captivity from the clouds shone on her. Her face showed a mixture of different feelings of gratitude and of shyness. I cannot describe with my limited vocabulary the uniqueness of her facial expression at that moment. It was simply a thrilling sight. We strolled silently looking at the waterfalls for a while and the gradual sinking of sun into the earth.
“Shall we go, it is becoming dark” I said. She reluctantly agreed and we reached the taxi. It was almost six o’clock in the evening. During the ride towards the town the taxi had a flat tire and even though the car had a spare tire, the driver was not able to change the tire for want of suitable tools. The wrench was over used and was not providing sufficient grip on the bolt of the flat tire. We were hoping to get help from another vehicle which might come on the same road. Our taxi stopped in a thick jungle. Huge trees covered the road from both sides and the driver cautioned us not to move away from the road since snakes are not uncommon in the area. She was standing close to me. I could feel her presence with fear. Fortunately another taxi came along after forty five minutes of wait and we reached the city. It was 8.30 in the night. “The food in my hotel is quite good, let us finish dinner here and then you can leave” I proposed. She agreed. After ten minutes into our dinner the driver of the taxi came and told me that there was an emergency and that he had to leave immediately. I paid him off. It was 9.30 p.m by the time we ate our dinner. The weather in Kerala changes rather abruptly. Suddenly it started raining. The rain when it falls in the hilly regions of Kerala is very severe and vicious. Her place of residence was 20 kms. away and she bargained with an auto rickshaw driver and when she was about to get into the vehicle, I said “stop”. She already got into the auto rickshaw but waited. ” I do not like the thought of you traveling 20 kms. in this rain and that too alone. It is not safe. I will accompany you, and then return” and ignoring her objections got into the auto rickshaw. It was raining hard. Even though there were curtains on both sides of the vehicle the lashing drizzle from the small openings of the curtain soaked us wet. We reached her place and before I started my journey back, ” It is too far for you to go again in this rain. Why don’t you stay here for the night and return to your hotel tomorrow morning. Please do not hesitate” she requested. It was my turn to think. After few seconds I said “O.K” and followed her. She handed me a dry towel and went inside to change her clothes. She came back with a set of pajamas for me. The pajamas smelled as if they were in a trunk for a long time. I changed my clothes, and she came back with a hot cup of tea. The day’s events and the concern I showed for her shown by accompanying her, brought a significant change in her attitude. She started talking” said Rao.
“It is very unusual for a lonely lady to invite a total stranger like you to stay in her house in the night.” said Jagan.
“You keep on using the word “she”, hasn’t she got a name?” Ravi inquired.
“What is in a name? Let me call her Kavita. She started narrating about her life. “As you know, Kerala state has the highest literacy and maximum unemployment in the country. People migrate to all parts of the world in search of employment. Lots of people migrate to middleeastern countries. The pay there is not great, but it is better than nothing here. A friend of my brother who hails from this locality was working in the Gulf and he showed interest in me and my brother agreed for our marriage. His job was not paying much but he thought that he can comeback in few years with sufficient funds to start a decent life in Kerala. My husband was in Kerala for only about two week’s time. We got married in a hurry and he hardly spent one week with me intimately before he left for work in the Gulf.
He was regularly sending money to my brother and after making repairs to this house my brother started constructing a good house and I assumed that he was constructing it for us. With the easy money in hand my brother’s status in the society grew significantly and he entered into politics. I was waiting like million other women for their husbands to return from abroad. In the initial period the wait involved expectation and hope. As the days, months and years passed, despair and lack of interest permeated into the body and mind. I had nothing to do except wait, and wait. I somehow completed a degree in that waiting period. I heared that my husband decided to comeback for good. After six years of marriage and waiting, tragedy struck us. My husband got killed in an accident and we were instructed to make arrangements to bring the dead body back to India as rules did not permit his cremation in that country . It resulted in a heavy expenditure for us.
After the death of my husband my brother gradually started avoiding me and I took the teaching job and I have survived and lived independently. Now my brother is a politician with good standing in his party. It is very unfortunate for lots of women like me who spend their lives waiting for their spouses to return. In some cases, spouses come home once in 6-7 years and the interim life for the women at home is lonely and devoid of any excitement. The males are like a non removable stain on a clean white cloth. I was lucky that I could manage a job for myself. If you observe carefully the expression on the face of women who come out and watch the passing train is filled with expectation!” said Kavita. She was trying to control her sorrow and anguish but the scars inflicted by life were too deep and painful. She sobbed for a couple of minutes, with tears rolling down her cheeks. She did not even attempt to wipe them. I had no words to console her, nor did I have the intimacy to hug and comfort her. After sometime she went inside, freshened up and brought couple of bed sheets and prepared the sofa for my sleep.
It was morning and Kavita woke me up with a cup of coffee and asked” The sofa is not convenient to sleep. Did you sleep alright?” I nodded my head. I looked at her. She already took a full shower and her hair was wet. She tied the hair in a typical Kerala fashion. As I mentioned earlier, she had dignity and grace written all over her.
It was a Sunday and we setout to see other places of interest and spent the day joyfully. She was a different person altogether from the previous day, cheerful, mischievous and appeared very happy. The day passed very quickly.
After dinner at my hotel, I requested her to spend the night in my room. This time, there was no hesitation in Kavita. Before I went to bed I pointed that my train leaves around 09.00 hrs, and that I will leave her at her house on my way to the railway station the next morning. There was a sign of sorrow on her face but quickly she masked it with a mirthless hollow laugh.
The next morning while eating breakfast I said” I like this place very much and I want to visit again”. “Please do that. Here is my telephone number. I hope you will not forget” she replied. I could recognize her choked voice in her reply. Even after three years her voice and face are very fresh in me”. Rao stopped the narration and closed his eyes as if to catch the past.
“I am sure you would have rushed to that place in a week’s time” Ravi joked.
“No, I would have but I did not” replied Rao.
“Why?” Ravi, Krishna, and Jagan asked in a chorus.
“After my return from my trip, I rang Kavita’s number twice . But, nobody lifted the receiver at the other end. I wondered! However after one week, I got a call from the police” said Rao
“Police? What happened? How did they get hold of your telephone number?’ asked Krishna.
“They wanted information regarding Kavita’s movements with me. They got my telephone number from the hotel where I stayed.” replied Rao.
“What was all that about?”
“Two days after I came away from my Kerala trip Kavita was found murdered. From the information I received her brother slit her throat and killed her. They arrested him later” explained Rao.
“Murdered by her brother? What sort of lunacy is that?”
“We can never know the true reason for the killing. But, I have a very good guess. Kavita mentioned to me that her brother was making a mark in political circles and that he was an egoist. Do you want to hear what could have happened?” asked Rao
“Sure, go ahead”
“As he is a political figure of some repute and in the upswing, his opponents might have been looking for ways to bring him down using all means. Somebody might have reported about his sister Kavita’s movements with me during those two days and might have sneered at his so called family moral values. He must have visited and chided her on this. My guess is that he would have said something like, ”you are bringing bad name to me and to the family”. I know only very little of Kavita but from what little I know of her, my guess is she would have reacted in a rebellious way and might have challenged him. ”You embezzled my husband’s money. and deserted me after his death. How dare you come here and question me about my movements?” she would have questioned him. Her attitude must have infuriated him and in a rage her brother would have killed her. Mind you, it is my guess only but then I am almost sure.” Rao concluded his narration.
Ravi, Jagan, and Krishna were weighing Rao’s explanation.
“What was her fault? Why was she punished? Kavitha would have been alive had I not visited that place in Kerala. What does family honor mean in her case?” said Rao and closed his eyes.